There are 2000 seats...you can have 1999...but there is one I won't let you have...come what may...

14th of November...2 days to CAT....do i deserve to be there? yeah, I know I do...I believe I do....for have I not spent every possible waking hour in toil? Have I not attempted papers even after getting screwed in office? Have I not spent endless hours in mock papers' analysis? Have I not sacrificed sleep, health, entertainment over it? I have religiously attended all mocks, religiously studied all questions, religiously devoted my time....God, you cannot deny me this...You know I deserve this...I know I deserve this... it has become my identity... it is what i have become...it is what i exist for... but then, you know what i am talking about, don't you? you know what people say when they meet me... you know how many have their hopes pinned on me.... but more than for them, it is for myself that I stand... deny me not this O God, if anything, I must reach IIM Bangalore.... 

So here I am again...the final mock got over yesterday..now its time for the real battle...scored a 121...a 26 in QA might just fall short of what is required...but anyway...it doesn't matter anymore...the secret lies in not panicking and not getting stuck on any question...i believe i am gonna do 10 mocks till the D day...I know I cannot lose...I have given it all...I have given up movies, sleep, relationships, all for this...I am the best contender by far...I have toiled as no one has toiled..I have done this before..I just need to do it again..There is no pattern that I have not tried myself against..There is no resource I have not exhausted..I swear that come what may, I will not fall below IIM Bangalore..Mine is the glory and all that is in it...I deserve this now...and my God will not deny me my tourniquet...the CAT is not conquered by knowledge alone...far from it...you have to have a passion to be at IIM...and that passion alone will see you through...everything else is secondary...nothing else matters..nothing at all...all that matters now is to get into IIM Bangalore...I think of the glory that awaits me...the pride on my mother's face..the admiration in office..the jealousy all around..the congratulations..the phone calls..how I'll tell Shruti about the final call from IIM Bangalore..how she will look up to me with those doe-eyes...the booze that will flow..the partying with shubhu and pushpi... the high flying life style...I know i cannot give it all up...all this can NOT, CAN NEVER, go to waste...this is my one chance at redemption...and I am not going to let this go...

Here I am...sitting in this cubicle in office...just one out of the 2000-odd people who work here...nothing much to do today..have been told to read up stuff on the net...wishing I could be preparing for CAT right now..maybe I can...must remember to use 'The Secret' at all times when explicit studying is not feasible...it'd take me closer to the realisation of the long-standing dream...IIM AHMEDABAD....sometimes i wonder how it would feel to be there....among the best, the brightest...would i be at home there? with all the geekiness dripping off me, i guess i would :)